Thursday

Sadly, I was not able to complete the Ab Challenge. After falling behind, there was Thanksgiving. Coming home after Thanksgiving dinner we were driven home in a van. The fan did not have seats in the back, so they put some folding chairs in the back. Everyone was fine, but when we got closer to NYC, the van was making short stops. I ended up flying out of the chair and rolling over. I hit my head, my leg, and arm on the floor. I was also very cold because the driver decided we didn't need heat. So the next day I was in bed with a cold and a sore leg and arm. I was not going to be doing any crunches or planks. Same for Saturday. By Sunday, I didn't think I was every going to finish. So I completed all but the last four days of the challenge. I'm still confident that I can still complete it the next time around, which I think I'll make April. For right now, I'm going to do my yoga and finish these last eight lessons that I paid for, before the 14th of this month. Wish me luck! Have a great Thursday!

Falling Behind

It's been almost two weeks since my last post. Sorry for the delay. My cousin came the last week my grandma was away. And it's been crazy ever since. She decided to take a bag that was intended for me and continues to lie about. I don't care if she has it, just own up to it. This is why I don't want to reproduce. My genes are just bad. Filled with liars, thieves and addicts. I'm good with adoption and students. Other than that, school had been eh. I'm ready to be done with this semester and into the next one. My very last semester of grad school. It does not feel the same as undergraduate. I felt like I actually did something, this time, I feel like I got a course and some textbooks and told to go do it. I'm not sure I'm 100% ready, but who ever is. I'm two days behind on the Ab Challenge. I blame it on the yoga. I did yoga on Monday and haven't been the same ever since. I bought ten lessons and have to use them before the 14th of December. I hope to use another one on Saturday, and by then I hope to be finished with this Ab Challenge. It's been great, but I'm tired and stressed. I thought I'd have more free time now, but I don't. I'm just as busy as ever. And I hate the fact that I still have two more assignments from my reading and writing class. However, I did finish up with my internship and just hoping I'll be able to upload the video and get it to my teacher. Anyway, all is good because tonight I get to eat. I'm looking forward to BMCC's Thanksgiving dinner. Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

Estoy Cansada

Grandma is back. She bought me back a tie, which you can see in my other blog entitled Over 100 Days of Ties at ahundredties.blogspot.com. I have a significantly lower stress level since grandma came back. My cousin is leaving tomorrow morning and the world seems to be making sense again. I just need to keep up this energy or else I'll fall behind. I have to finish strong or else my grade will suffer, so I pray for some energy to endure these last several weeks of school. Next semester I plan to learn how to drive and continue my Spanish. I love how good I am at it right now, but I can always get better. I want to be able to not only speak but also read and write. Hopefully I'll be able to do those things. I'm almost done with the scarf I'm making. I'm sure I'll be done by the end of this month. I just hope everyone likes what they get. I guess I can post my creations here. So be on the look out. Happy Friday! So does not feel like Friday.

Hamburgers

I was suppose to get hamburgers with my co-worker today but she bailed on me. She had to go pick up her mom. Today was a half day at work, nothing too special there. I was able to come home and save some money by eating in. I also tried to clean up a little for when grandma comes tomorrow. I hope she comes early. I don't want to come home and this place is a mess. I have class in two and a half hours. I have no clue what to do until then. I could read, I could knit. So many things I could do, but what should I do? I can't wait for this semester to be over with. I'm trying to picture what that would look like, but i don't know. I keep thinking once the semester is over, I'll be able to rest. And then I'll probably be bored. Oh well, I guess I'll just hope for the best.

He answered

I've always been told that God answers prayer, but never have I experienced it this quickly. I came home, thinking my cousin wanted to go out to eat but she was making bacon and french fries when I came home. I also saw that she had a new hair tie. It was mine. One of my pet peeves is people going into my room without my permission. It bugs the heck out of me because my sister likes to steal things. I grew up in an environment where every time I came home something was missing or broken. I still have scars from that and having her come in here and take things just bring me right back to that time. I feel small, smaller than an atom. However, instead of getting angry, I prayed. I prayed for strength to somehow get through this. Soon after I get a call from my cousin in Niagara Falls. He tells me that he just thought about me and so he called. Made me feel so special. I was able to share what I've been up to and all the worries I have with these two 22 year olds in my house. I'll be so glad when grandma comes back. I'll be able to rest at ease about the house and no longer be responsible for it's care or the cat. Anyway, I just wanted y'all to know that God does answer prayer. I had a sweat shirt with that on it. And one teacher asked, what if someone prayed for something bad to happen to someone else. I laughed, but what I really wanted to say is that God answers prayer by saying yes, no, or not yet. Sometimes the answer is no, and we just have to realize that there is a bigger picture and that not everything is about ourselves. So as I'm going through this tough time, I know that as each day pass and I able to get through and survive, I'll be a stronger person. Maybe, someone else will want to hear my story, maybe they won't. Maybe it'll just be my own little triumph. Who knows. All I know is that I serve a wonderful God, who loves and cares for his children. That's all I'm saying.

Burning Buildings

Last night a laundry mat caught on fire. I'm pretty sure someone didn't clean out the lint thing before or after they dried their clothes. There is clearly a warning on the machine. Anyway, my weekend was okay. I didn't feel like doing much. Saturday, got my hair done. Hung out with the cousin for a while, and finally was able to sit down for more than a minute. Ended up watching some shows and not doing any work. Sunday was official boards day, boring I know. Sunday school was entertaining, then I tried to get some work done, was so not feeling it. It's hard to work or do anything on the weekends, but I did manage to keep up with the ab challenge, completed day 11 this morning. I was talking with 305 last night and I was telling her if I complete this and the running for beginners thing, I'll be really proud of myself. If I complete these things, I'll know that there is nothing keeping me from doing more, from reaching an even higher goal. The only thing stopping me is myself. I also want to be a better teacher of the Word. I feel like I'm not doing enough. Maybe it'll come with more experience. I think I should get back to reading. I have my new glasses for a reason. I believe that is it for now, going to go buy 305 some apple pie and get to school and see if I can get some reading done. Have a warm Monday!

Unraveling

I'm so close to losing my mind. I was freaking out about my cousin coming over and having to watch two grown adults while grandma is away, but then I gave it to God. I was worried about not seeing my student today, but she showed up and it went well. I was worried about my observation today, but it also went well. I love my students and they all love me. They are the only good thing I have going for me. If all else fails, I know that I am a good teacher and ultimately put my students' needs before my own. While I wanted to cry and leave this house, I was calm, cool and collective. My students even commented on the fact that I'm always smiling and always happy. I think it's nice for them to think that. I also want them to know they can always talk to me. No matter what is going on in my life, I will always try to do my best to help them out. I just hope I remember to bring the brownies next week.

After teaching this after, I came home to a bunch of people in my house. When grandma is away there is no company. I did not know what I was going to do. I prayed and asked for help. I told them they would have to leave. I heard my sister say something, so I repeated myself and said they had five minutes or I'd be calling the police. They all left and I praise God that they did. I don't want to clean up their mess, but I"m afraid I may have to. It's just one of the many responsibilities I have as the oldest and most dependable grandchild. I'm just so blessed to have survived this long. Please remember me in your prayers. One week down, but one still left to go.

Que Bueno

Today was okay. Last day of work, which is really good. Also, I completed day seven, so I have a break now. Also, when I went into the gym this morning I saw the guy I have been obsessed with. I'm determined to make him my new best friend. Well slightly determined. We're on a hi/good morning basis now. Anyway, I was surprised to see him there since he usually goes to the gym at night. That was one surprise for today. There were no more. Work was okay, we got to hide out for a bit during the last class. They're a rambunctious group. After that, I got my check. Later, I went to my internship. It was good as usual. I'm procrastinating now. I need to do a lesson plan for tomorrow. I so don't want to do it, but I have to. Lastly, I dislike siblings. That is all.

They're GRRRRRREAT!

I have completed the sixth day of the Ab Challenge. These sit ups are killing me, but not as much as these leg raises. I'm thinking I should probably do it before I run at the gym, but probably not. I'm slowly but surely learning how to run. It's getting better with each day. I may have to run just about everyday or just try not to eat so much on the weekends when I'm not working out. For some reason when I begin to workout seriously, it's the same time that I want to begin to eat everything in site.

Nothing too special happened last night. Lab guy was cool, nothing weird, didn't avoid him. ESL student was cool, literally walked away from him. Got to talk to my bestie in PA, she always makes me laugh. And my Buffalo mom is back on facebook. She always makes me feel good about myself. I also talked to an old friend, actually several. It's nice to to know some people are thinking of me, and still think I'm cool enough to talk to.

I seriously need a vacation.

Oh and I ran out of Frosted Flakes.

Someone's always watching

Yesterday afternoon, I get a call from my friend/co-worker. I'm thinking it's important because he doesn't usually call me unless he needs me to work. However, when I call him back, he's telling me about a guy I use to work with. And he's convinced that there is something going on between us, when there clearly isn't. Anyway, I tell him we'll talk about when I get to school. Basically, he wanted to tell me that "guy" was with a "hottie" at the vending machine. And I know said "hottie". Anyway, I tell him they're friends, not like I care, but yea. And he's like "what am I going to do with you?". Some people are convinced that I need someone and I do not. I'm doing pretty darn well all by myself. Unfortunately the men of NYC do not agree. I was coming home from school last night, minding my own business and knitting. And a man comes up to me and says: I'm tall and from where I'm standing you're the perfect height and beautiful. I reply: Thank you and I keep on knitting. He goes on to ask if I have a boyfriend, I say no, he asks for my number I say I'm not interested. And he says something which I can't remember but ends up leaving me alone. I don't know what's in the water but these men need to back off unless they can show me a tithe envelop and their bible. Just last week, or rather the week before, one guy walked me home, another wanted to buy me dinner. My doorman is like I should take advantage, I'm like I don't have time for this. I'm way too busy going to the gym, updating my blog, teaching classes and thinking about my future. I have way too many things going on right now and no time for distractions, especially from men who aren't going places or who aren't going to come to Japan, China, Korea, Argentina and Columbia with me. I guess that's all for now. Oh I completed day 5 of the Ab Challenge and need to remember to stretch before I run. Yesterday was not fun... cramping and pain. Remember to stretch beautiful people, remember to stretch.

Blast from the Past

I was sorting laundry, a very boring task, and I decided to boost myself up by playing some music that'll make me dance. I played some Bowling For Soup and then some Good Charlotte. While listening to the latter, I thought about the time when I use to listen to them. Back in high school, I use to love their music, I still do. They knew perfectly what I was going through and got me through it. I think of friends I use to be close with and now an estranged with. It's funny to see how far you have come from high school.

Today I also completed day 3 of the 30 day challenge. Tomorrow is a rest day, so I don't do anything. I guess it's to give my stomach some time to rest, well little does my stomach know, but I will beginning running again on Monday. It's so hard to work out on the weekends. I feel like not doing anything. I want to just sit and watch tv, maybe go out. Next weekend, I promise to leave the house and go to my favorite book store and maybe eat out. I wanted to go out this weekend, but had no one to go with me. That's one of the benefits of having a significant other, you have someone to go to things with you. Oh well, there is always family members. Happy Communion Sunday.

No Shave November

I wish I could not shave for November, but sadly I was not created as a man. Not like I want to be one, being a black male would be horrible. Anyway, so it's November and with it comes the birthdays of ex-boyfriends past, lol. Seriously though, all except two were born on November third, fourth, sixth and ninth. It's crazy. Well besides that nothing special happens this month. I'm going to continue with my "diet" which is more like a lifestyle change, as Jessica would say. And I'll do my best to continue to work out and complete this ab challenge. I haven't done my exercise for today, I should probably get on that right? Also, I still have Halloween candy left. I realized that there really isn't a such thing as Halloween candy, it's just regular candy in bulk, lol. I still have some left but possible hording all the snickers for some later date when I need some chocolate. I hope this plan works. Other than that, some random person commented on a video that I have on youtube. I don't know what's the problem of showing girls playing with dolls but this person had a problem with it. I asked them why, so we'll see if they reply. Happy Saturday!

Winter Fever

I have no clue what is in the air right now but I think people who aren't with someone are beginning to look for someone to keep warm with when it starts to really get cold. For example, one ESL student tried to buy me dinner on Tuesday. Lab assistant also wanted to walk me home. As I was walking to my internship, minding my own business and crocheting, several men asked me to either teach them how or make them something. One girl commented on my UB hoodie, but that's a different story. So I'm thinking that there is something in the air that is making these people say things in hopes of getting a companion. I actually don't want to be anyone's companion. I just want to survive this semester. Do well at work, at my internship and finish my class at Hunter. I want to hurry up and graduate so that I may leave this city and go somewhere far far away. I really want to go to Japan. I don't really have anyone here who I consistently talk to, so it's like I'll be missing anything. I just want to go and make a difference. I want to see people from other countries, teach them English without imposing on their culture and have fun. That's it. Happy November 1rst!

OH today I start the 30 Day Ab Challenge. Wish me luck!

Autumn Woes

It's about that time when I starting missing a certain someone, really anyone. It's getting colder and people spend more time inside. However, I refuse to let this season fill me with regret or loneliness. I'm doing everything that I could have possibly imagined. I'm healthy, I'm happy and things are looking up for me. I have possible job leads while still interning and working part-time. I'm just really excited to see God working this semester and excited to see the plans that He has for next and once I graduate. I'm really hoping that I get to go to Japan and then maybe Columbia or Argentina. I'm excited to see the world and experience new things. I don't want anything to hold me back. I don't feel like I belong him. I kinda feel like I was made for something more, maybe even bigger, who knows. I just don't feel like I'm living up to my potential staying here in a NYC apartment. I know lots of people from all over the world come to NYC but I want to go to them. I want to meet them where they're at and experience their culture. I want to help the sick, the poor and make a difference is someone's life. I may have very high goals but as long as I do something and no just sit here learning languages that I may never use, I'll be happy. Go do something that makes you happy.

First Job

My very first job is hard to describe. The first place I worked at where I got paid was doing summer youth where I was working at a camp. Specifically I worked with the 6-7 girls at PAL Armory. The next summer I worked at a different camp. PAL Harlem center in the kitchen. That one was probably the best position. I woke up early but left early as well. It was fun minus boys trying to fit me into the freezer. The next summer I did an internship and then the summer after that I worked at St. Luke's Summer Day Camp with the 8-9 girls. And then after I came from from college I couldn't find anything so I had some help and was a program aide for PAL in Flushing for two summers then went back to Harlem Center and then I was done with kids. Children are just not my cup of tea. So after I graduated from college, I had planned to go to grad school but wanted a summer job so I applied to a place I know I'll get hired Century 21 Department Store. I went and got the job. And that lasted about seven months then I started taking more classes in school and had to leave that place. So I guess my first job could have been summer youth or it could have been c21, who knows. I should probably be reading right now but it's very boring reading about reading. I'll make it through somehow. Much love, K

Annoying Tomorrow

Hello there. How do you do? I'm procrastinating right now. Tomorrow I have a meeting with the director of my summer teaching job, I also have class later that day as well. I'm not looking forward to class sadly. After I had class on Wednesday and saw my classmates I was not too happy with the faces that I saw. Two people really have me not wanting to go to class and feeling really unhappy about having to go there every week. I don't think I will be baking for this class. 

Do you know what I find to be the most annoying sound? Someone sucking there teeth I believe is one of the most annoying sounds. Another sound I do find is also annoying is when someone is popping there gym. Not blowing bubbles into the gym but that annoying high pitched pop that people somehow do inside of their mouth while chewing. It's worse than hearing someone chew their food. Because I understand that in some countries being loud while eating is a compliment to the cook. But not popping your gym or sucking one's teeth. 

This sounds like a  very sad post. Let's see what can I say that's no so bad. I just came back from PA and saw one of the very fabulous friends that I have. Emily has long blonde hair and a fabulous smile. She's my same height which is five feet even and she loves me even though I'm a little on the crazy/weird side. I'm so glad I got to see her. She's pretty awesome. And I'm glad I have her in my life. I need more Jesus loving people in my life. Sometimes they just get it. I hope you all have a friend like that. Much love, K

Summer Vacation

Hey y'all. I hope you're enjoying your summer. I taught an English composition class this summer and boy was it intense but also awesome. I loved my students and having fun with them and reading their essays, I just wish there wasn't so many to read. Anyway, now since grandma is gone again I am having my friends over for dinner almost everyday this week. Today is Honey Soy chicken with roasted red potatoes and broccoli. Tomorrow I am still a little iffy about. Wednesday is Lasagna. Friday is burgers and hot dogs. And Saturday will be a pot luck. This summer has been really good and I hope to continue doing wonderful things throughout the semester. This is my last year of graduate school. Oh that reminds me that I should get started on my Fulbright scholars application. I wonder if it's the right thing to do. I'm still not too sure about it. I guess it doesn't hurt to apply.That's all for now. I'll try to write more. ttfn.

It Gets Better

As I'm thinking about the title to this post I can't help but wonder what I want to say. So many things have happened in the last twenty four hours. I had my first drink, on purpose and had the absolute worst experience. I never ever want to take another drink again. I was so right in not drinking for the first 24 years of my life. I don't even know why I felt that I had to. I'm not the kind of person who needs to drink and I like being that way. I don't think I want to hang out with people who do. People who think drinking goes hand in hand with everything, solves everything, or needed in every situation. I only had one drink but I did not like how that made me feel. I also did not like others trying to get me to drink more. They are lucky I even did that. I never going to another bar again. I am never taking another sip of anything alcoholic. I'm sticking to what I believe in. After last night I was so disappointed in myself. I felt that I let myself down. Since talking with one of my very good friends I have decided that I can't blame myself. We all mess up once or twice and many times over. However, I serve a God who loves me in spite of all that.  And I've decided to get back to the heart of worship and to go back to doing the things that really matter and really make me happy and not change to make someone else happy or to make something think a certain way about me because at the end of the day they have no say in whether I live or die or if I go to heaven or not. I thank God I have friends who pray for me and look out for me because without them I would be completely lost. I still have some things to think about and change/ get rid of some habits that I have adopted. I think it may be tough but if it's important I'll find the time and effort for it. I hope you all had a wonderful fourth of July because I know I sure didn't but it will get better, it will get better. Much love, K

Buffalo Morning

This morning I woke up in Buffalo. Oh how I love being in Buffalo. It is one of the best places I think a city girl could be. It's a nice mixture of city life and country quietness. Even though it gets tons of late effect snow the snow is wonderful. It stays white and clean well into April unlike NYC snow which is plowed immediately and turns brown and all sorts of other colors. I'm currently having breakfast at one of my favorite places called Spot Coffee. It's wonderful, come visit sometime. After this I plan to visit my old church, then see my old internship and then maybe an old friend will see me. I kind of want to take a nap now but that'll have to wait. This Chamomile Melody tea is pretty good though. During this trip I'll also need to work on my syllabus, curriculum and lesson plan for my summer job. I got an adjunct position at Hunter. And yesterday my boyfriend got a job at Kaplan, which is pretty cool. Hope we still have time to go movie watching and dates to burger and shake places around NYC. Hope you all enjoy your summer. Much love, K

Rainy Monday

It is Monday and it is raining. When I left my house, it was not raining but when I got to the Bronx it started to rain and has continued to rain. The wind has started to blow and the temperature had dropped. I am now stuck on the Bronx Community College campus and have to wait until three o clock to get out of here. I sadly left my umbrella at home. Well I guess it's a good thing because then I'd be at home watching television and doing basically nothing with my day. Being stuck here has allowed me to use some Spanish and talk with people and hang out with my best buddy Trisha. I really do hope the rain does away soon. Much love, K

Laundry

One thing that I just absolutely and totally dislike is doing laundry. I'm finally getting around to doing it. And once I'm done I won't have to do it again until next month. My clothes are in the washer now but soon I'll have to move them to the dryer. Yes, it's in my building and I just take the elevator to the lower level but the whole sorting thing and spraying stains and then putting the clothes in and waiting for them to wash, then dry and  then fold and it's like you're sorting again cuz you have to put them places. When I get married my husband is doing laundry, maybe. He'll be like nah uh, not touching that. Anyway, that's not important. You know what's sexy? A man who knows God's word. Who will listen to you and pray for you. Instead of asking how you are, he'll ask how can he pray for you. I think that is sexy. A man of God. I was talking with my friend Sidra and we were discussing things and that came up in one of our conversations. I pray and hope one day I'll have someone to do that for me. Of course I have my girl friends like Ruth, Kelsey and Marilyn who pray for me and look out for me. But if this whole dating thing doesn't work out, I may just go upstate and stay with my lovely Ruth and we'll be old maids with a whole bunch of cats. I hope you are all enjoying your Thursday. Much love, K

One Plus One Equals Two

Wow, that should be the title of my book, if I ever decide to write a book. If I did it would be based on fiction and real life. What kind of book is that? If you know please tell me. Oh oh is it historical fiction? Idk, anyway so I've been so used to being on my own and doing what I want to do that it's been hard thinking of myself as part of a couple. I do so much for myself, I go to work, go to school, and I sit there in those class rooms and offices, alone, dealing with those ppl alone. But when I come home there is always someone waiting to talk to me, to find out about my day, who loves me. It's a hard concept to grasp for me. I was sitting in bed thinking about this and wondering am I part of this team/couple and I thought, yea I am. We are a couple. Before I didn't think that way, I thought of us as two people getting to know one another. I guess we still are but we've learned so much, shared so much that if we've decided to stay together that must mean we plan to go forward with this, to reach the goal, to be a team, a couple. Wow. That just totally blew my mind. I still have some more growing up to do but realizing that has helped me tremendously. I just hope I don't screw anything up. I'll keep praying and trusting in God that we'll grow closer and make decisions that are best for both of us. Ha, tomorrow makes fifteen months since we've been together, maybe I should do something nice for him, to thank him for putting up with me. I am a tough cookie to crack. Happy Tuesday. Much love, K

He's Mad

I reckon the boyfriend is mad at me, sad but possibly true. Yesterday was Memorial Day. I baked all morning. I made brownies, cupcakes and chocolate chip cookies. I enjoyed making all these things. Then I went to my Aunt's house. It was pretty cool. We ate hot dogs and burgers, chicken, potato salad, rice, beans, corn on the cob, sausages. It was all very nice. My cousins were there, four out of six. There use to be five of us first cousins and our ages are in numerical order. I am the oldest, then the oldest boy from the two brothers, then Jinny, then my sister then the youngest brother who also happened to be the youngest out of us all until two Christmases ago. My uncle had a daughter Caira. She's alright I guess, saw her last summer. She likes to be loud and play and watch Dora. So yea, it was us four and two friends of my cousin and my aunt and uncle. It was cool. Talked, watched WMBA and a little tv. We went home then nothing, I didn't do anything, kept eating candy and started to read a book, which reminds me that I should start on my Goodreads account. Jinny left to see her friends and the rest is history. Called my boyfriend to tell him I love him, but he was busy with his friends. Called him later on when he got home but he got mad at me for not telling him what was wrong with fried pickles. I don't know how I feel about them, they're okay I guess, I don't know. I can't knock it until I tried it. So that was my Memorial Day. Much love, K

The Friday to End all Fridays

Today is my last Friday at work. Yesterday, I had an interview at my school for a teaching position. It went really well. I'm a little scared about it but I know that given the opportunity to do the job I'll learn a lot from being there and will try my best to help the students out. After that I went to work at BCC where I got lots of hugs and kisses from my upper level students but none from the lower level. After work, I went to my other job where I had to review my 15 page research paper and work on my presentation for later on in the day. Class went by in a moderate pace. It was mostly presentations, and mine was pretty okay. I think I did well and that I may even get an A in the class. However, I failed my comprehensive exam. This is a bummer for me. Overall the semester went pretty well except that hiccup. I will be taking next semester but I guess over this summer I should come up with some kind of plan to study for it again next semester.

All week I have been breaking out in hives. I hope after today I can plan on all of them disappearing because this is no bueno. I also plan to work out this summer as well as work on my Spanish and hopefully get some money so I can continue to save for my future. I guess I will also be making new things with yarn and trying out new recipes. Busy summer ahead but I can't wait to jump in and have some fun. I hope you all have a wonderfully fabulous summer! Much love, K

Fridays with David

Today is Friday, so that means that I am the only person in the office who stays  from 9am until 5pm. David was here though, from 9-1. He's pretty cool. He's from Mexico and has a boyfriend named Ryan. David is absolutely one of the nicest people I know. He's super smart, and good at making flyers and he sings. I haven't heard him sing but he wants to be an opera singer so I assume he's good. Today we were talking about relationships and people. I was telling him how I think it's important that a person be always trying to improve themselves. Not just on the outside but on the inside as well. I think that is very important, never settle for where you are but continue to reach for higher goals. Also we talked about judging others. Recently a co-worker of mine called someone a female dog. I don't like to swear so it's not in my vocabulary but also I don't think any person knows a person well enough to call that person any time of name. You may call someone kind, or caring, maybe inconsiderate but never label them. People act different in all sorts of environments and with different people. I don't think it was right for him to call a woman that and I really don't think others should do the same. Not because I'm also a woman but I wouldn't do that to a man either. I don't know what the male equivalent is for a female dog but from my experience dealing with the opposite sex, men are super confusing and I will not be first in line to suggest I'm an expert and know all there is to know about them. I would never judge someone. Of course, I'm not perfect and may assume someone has a certain personality but I usually try to cut that line of thought as soon as possible. I love being proved wrong. My closest/best friends are girls that I at first I did not like because I assumed they'd be a certain way. I just wish some people would be more open minded. Would look at how they can serve and help others before judging and casting off people as some label. I want to look for the good in all people and things. This world is already messed up, our thoughts don't have to also reflect that ugliness. Be the change you want to see in to world. Much love, K

Office Best Friend

My office best friend is named Artem. He's from the Ukraine and he has a elfish son. What's super cool about my office best friend? Well he drinks tons of coffee and works out during his lunch break. He likes to eat pb&j sandwiches and yogurt for lunch. He's super duper nice and always has my back. Without my best friend, work would be really really dull and I'd probably get more picked on by my co-worker than I already do now. I'm at work now, the one at the office, doing things I don't want to do for the rest of my life. They had interviews for a new office manager. I may like the new person, but I won't get too attached. I'm leaving at the end of this semester and probably won't be coming back. This has been fun but I'm tired. I don't think I was cut off for being in an office. I'm way too loud and have way too much fun talking and getting to know people. I think I'll get off this now. Hope you all are enjoying your day. Much love, K

April Springs

Today was very very warm when I left my house this morning. Oh even before I get into that, let me tell you about my weekend. My weekend was fabulous! I read and article in the morning then went to see my boyfriend where I read two more articles and took a nap. Then I went home and attempted to do more work. I can remember exactly what I did. Sunday I went to church, had a meeting and found someone to make brownies for my sister. I then read two more articles and half of a chapter in my textbook. Monday, since I resigned from one of my jobs allowed me to have the whole day off. I read the other half of my textbook then two more articles and I was done catching up pretty much. I'm just go glad and thankful to God for helping me to get through all that reading. I also got to workout and go for a walk yesterday as well as attempt to bake a pound cake. I had so many second thoughts about leaving my job but this just proves how necessary it was. I still have two more jobs and when I feel comfortable maybe I'll add more hours to one of them but for this week I'm just so glad to have time to do all the things I want and to be where I want to be. I just have to pace myself so that I don't get too crazy and try to take on too many things again. I'm also glad that my boyfriend and I are going to semi workout together and diet. It's truly awesome to be able to share things and do things together. Love that guy. Hope you all have a very productive work week. Much love, K

Haha, almost forgot to tell you about the weather. It's super duper warm. I don't like summer, I hope the rain comes soon. I'm going to try and find a way for me to be indoors most of the summer. Can we just skip the summer and go to fall. Please and thank you.

Men on the Scaffold

Hello all,
I titled this blog because of the view from my window at work. There are several men working on the apartment building next door. Today U.S. Polo is coming to do an Info Session in the office. I have done the flyering and have printed out a sign-in sheet. All that is left is to wait for the employer and watch the students come in. Sometimes the students who come in here look that they should work for the company recruiting that day. Like when Vicky Secret comes in, you just know what girls look like they would work there and which ones look like they just want a job. Now I'm ordering Dallas BBQ for lunch. Soon I'll be the only one in the office, which sucks but eh, I'll just have to take it one thing at a time. After work, I have small group/bible study then I was thinking of going to crochet with my old ladies. Oh and my boss got me more money to work off. I don't know how much that's just crazy. Oh well, guess they want me to work more, we'll see. I hope you all are having a fabulous Friday! Much love, K

March First

It's the first day of March and I've been twenty-four for a whole week. I don't really feel too old but I see it. I guess I just have to suck it up. I'm at work and I'm just sad at where people's priorities are.

So this is really late but I started it and want to finish it. I was going to talk about how some people come to work but don't really want to work so they find ways to sneak away and do things and don't come back until almost half an hour later. Or they up and decide they were going to just cut the day short. Not saying that on Fridays that we don't close up early but at 12 in the afternoon you decide to just up an leave, really? Anyway, don't have to worry about this person because they are leaving as well as other people. Now I definitely can't leave the office because then they'll have no one to cover the whole day... When I grow up, I definitely don't want to work in an office.

On another note, I'm sick, I was bleeding but both are slowing and going away. Hopefully I'll walk up and be magically cured of both. Today I felt kind of invisible. I text with my friends but the one person I wanted to talk to, to come see me and bring me soup and orange juice was not here. This person had to go out and do things. Not saying that you can't have fun. Idk, maybe I'm just being selffish, I should just shut-up and be happy at how productive I was today. I read two textbooks, an article, finished my CITI certification and then finished the study guide. Tomorrow I would like to clean, do laundry, my homework, continue to study and maybe read two more articles. I think I may be able to manage that, we shall see. Other than that, life is pretty good. I'm alive. I'm doing well in school and getting paid. Blessed Be.

My sister

I feel horrible. I feel emotionally distressed and physically distressed. Nothing is happening to me but looking at my sister makes me feel super duper like.. I don't even know. First it's the smell but I think the smell is only the smell because she's sick. She has thalassemia and she's had a plethora of blood transfusions and stuff. And looking at her, first I don't even recognize her. She's so much bigger now, she really just looks bloated. And I'm just use to her being able to whatever damage she wants. But now she can't do much damage. I started this post a couple of days ago but now things have changed. My sister is now back in the hospital, her legs gave out and go that is where she was sent. My grandmother has the flu and so she was in bed all weekend. I had weekend plans but couldn't go anywhere until I knew everyone was okay. I helped my sister which I usually never ever do. I made sure everything she needed was in arms reach and that she had things to do throughout the day. I went to my mother's house to have a square party and came home to find out my sister went back to the hospital. Earlier that day I also spent the morning cleaning the bathrooms and kitchens. Anyway, Sunday I didn't go to church, stayed home, tried to avoid getting sick. But yea, it's just a little weird sorta kind of caring about what happens to my sister. I'm not too worried now that she's in the hospital. They're equipped with the things to make her feel and be better, maybe they don't know it yet, maybe no one does but I'm pretty sure it's not in this house, don't want anything horrible to happen in here. I think I'd have to leave. I hope you all enjoy your day, I'm still trying. K

The 24th Year

Today is my 24th birthday. I have been so blessed to have been on this Earth for the last twenty-four years. I have learned so much, seen so much and have experienced so many things. One thing I am very grateful for is my relationship with my maker and with my friends who also have a relationship with God. Those people have shaped and impacted my life so much. I am no longer in a box looking out and what others are doing but I am outside the box and going further, reaching further and discovering my potential in the wide world that we live in. Today I did not let anyone rain on my parade. Yes it is my birthday but it is also a day that the Lord has made and we should rejoice and be glad in it. I remember just praising God and dancing in my room just because of how great and marvelous He is. I wish I had more moments like it. I wish I had time. It is said that if something is important to you that you'll make time for it well I plan to make more time for God. It's not just knowing the bible, the stories and what they mean, it's applying the Word to your life. I plan to live more passionately and being a witness. I want others to look at me and see something different and want to know what that difference is and I will tell them it's Jesus. I will continue to work on my testimony and share the Gospel any chance I get. I am definitely prepared to live my life for Jesus. This is just something on my mind today. I had a really great day. Ask people to send me cards. Received a six piece baking set, scarf, art, gummy pandas, earrings, gift card, and yarn. What really matters though is the love that I have received from my friends and family. I just hope I can spend the rest of my life showing them the love that Jesus has put in my heart. Song I'm currently listening to sums up this post perfectly. "Let my words be life. Let my words be truth. I don't wanna say a word unless it points the world back to You." by Hawk Nelson called Words.

One year

The day after Valentine's Day happens to be the one year anniversary of the first date my boyfriend and I had. Two days before V-day I got flowers in the mail. They're pretty awesome but slowly dying. There should be an option to keep them alive or not. Anyway, Saturday we ate dinner and then went to go see Beautiful Creatures. I was hoping the movie would be much better but maybe I was just comparing it to the book. I kinda wish I saw it with fresh eyes and not after having read the whole series, but I do love the books and the movie wasn't totally off. Just skipped parts and eliminated characters but hey, it's how they want to show it and I'll try and understand it. Yesterday we watched Thor and then the All Star game. I can truly say that I am very happy with this guy. Yea there may have been times I questioned things but I'm just glad that I didn't give up and just kept on. Usually when things get stressful or out of my comfort zone I usually try to get as far away as I can from it but I'm learning that some things are worth the risk, worth the little extra effort. Hope you have a very warm Monday morning. K

Sisters

I'm a Christian and all but when it comes to my sister, I feel more than a little dislike for her. She's the complete opposite of me. She takes anything she wants and I feel like her existence is just an intrusion on my life. It's so much better when we are not living together. When all the things I find near and dear to me are not in her reach. Today she came and I had all these plans to go shopping and see people but I didn't trust her in my room, so I had to make sure things were okay. She finally left and I feel so much better now but because of the snow I don't want to go anywhere now. I feel like staying in but I should go out and get more things I guess... Idk. I'm still a bit nervous, and once I inspect everything, hopefully I don't find anything gone. Times like this I really don't like my life. I get paranoid when things are not known, my things. I have to have some kind of plan or back-up and know where things are going. But having my sister around just makes me so uncomfortable. Wish it was different but she's put this idea in my head that she can't be trusted, can't take care of herself nor does she want to take responsibility for anything. As soon as I get my masters I really need to leave this place, get out the country for a couple of years, work and save up so I can get my own place. And I've heard this a lot from lots of people but maybe somehow someway it will be different for me. Anyway, decided I'm going on a fast, don't know what I'll be praying for just yet so I'll get back to ya on that. K

Relationships

Relationships are hard. Like really really hard. It's so easy to always put yourself first and think all about how the other complements you but I think it's the opposite. It's about putting the other person's needs before your own. Being slow to anger and always ready to forgive. However, if the other person is beating you up or making you cry every other day I think it's time to leave. Don't even think about it, if anyone lays a hand on you and then claims to love you I think you need to leave. I think I Corinthians 13 pretty much sums up all the things a relationship should have. And a relationship does not have to be a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship it can also be a friendship which is also a relationship. You have relationships with co-workers, patients, clients, neighbors. All these relationships should consist of love. And what 1 Corinthians says about love is that it is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, it is not proud or rude, self-seeking or easily angered, it keeps no records of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. That was pretty much verses 4-7 but the first four go into saying how you can basically be the nicest most wonderful person in the world but if you don't have love it means nothing. So I love to keep that in mind. I love helping others but if I don't have love in my heart, it pretty much means nothing. I think that's important for a relationship to do things out of love and the put the other person before yourself. I was watching this reality show on E! called Chasing the Saturday which is a pop girl group from England and there is one girl named Mollie who is the only single girl and I think it is because she puts everyone else before herself. She's the first one any of the other girls call when they need cheering up or upset about something because she is so bubbly, caring and full of love. I want to be like that, to put all of myself into helping others. I wonder how I could do that this month....

Bible Study

I went to bible study tonight at my church. It was about I Samuel 15 and basically showed how Saul turned away from God and disobeyed him. And this one lady was torn on the part where God wants Saul to destroy a group of people called the Amelekites. He wanted Saul to destroy the men, women, children and infants, and the lady was like why the children. And it was because of the generational curse as well as children follow what their parents do. And since this group of people sinning by worshiping idles and carry-on like their ain't no God he decided it was time for then to get they dished out themselves. Anyway, that generational curse thing has been on my mind for some reason. I'm wondering what things my parents have passed on to me that I don't know of. However, because Jesus died on the cross for our sins we don't have generational curses but still children do emulate what they see their parents do. Other than that my day was okay, was suppose to go to the museum but got a headache which I think was brought on by stress. I'm just stressed on how to proceed from where I am and what are the next steps, if I should even bother taking anymore steps and just give up. I'm just going to have to take a break from some things and just focus on school. So if I don't see a couple of my friends or bake or crochet it's because I'm focused on bettering myself which textbooks, school and work. K

Writing

I know I said I was going to write a letter to someone each day of this month, but that is a whole lot of stamps, but I do promise to write to at least ten people. That way I don't have to spend any more money that I don't have. Tuition kicked my butt this semester. CUNY needs to chill with these increases. Making it harder for people to stay in college. Luckily after this semester I only have to do teaching and I guess pay for that too but it shouldn't be so much. Also, I got two more letters this week, from two very fabulous ladies. I love hearing back from people I've sent mail to. I don't want to reply so soon though because it might make them not want to write. Writing is special and therefore remembered but if it comes every week, you won't think it's so special. So I may reply towards the middle of this week. Instead maybe, I'll write some poems, so check out that blog as well. Anything funny thing, I think I'm addicted to Ben and Jerry's Half Baked Ice cream. It's so weird because I met those guys and tried their ice cream in 8th grade and decided I didn't like it and was going to stay away. However, my sister had some and told me to try it and now I can't get enough if it. Other than eating ice cream my weekend has been filled with watching television and crocheting a blanket for my friend. I haven't seen my boyfriend in a week and a half. Think something is wrong with me? Idk, I think it's because I'm so busy and trying to get my schedule in order and partly because I'm not mentally ready for school so things are getting pushed back but I'm going to force myself to get organized and schedule some time with my boyfriend. Hopefully I don't distract him too much. Anyway, Happy February. B-day in 20 days! K

Using Video in ESL

That is the name of the class I am taking for the next eight weeks on Tuesday nights. Last night was pretty weird. I did not know how to act or what to say. I had so many weird people in my class. People with weird names ( I love those people though), people with awkward social skills, and people who talk way too much. I was torn between being nice, being sassy and being quiet. Being quiet just isn't an option since there is only eight classes and participation is 30% of my grade. I brought cookies to class, to make a good first impression as well as to be nice. One thing I've learned is that when you don't like someone, be nice to them, that way they can never say anything mean about you and therefore you have less of a reason to dislike them. Anyway, felt slightly long but they always are. It's three and a half hours. I didn't make any new friends. There were about seven new people, that is people who I did not already know, out of twenty total students,  including myself. My teacher is foreign which I always think is weird because they teach ESL but it also makes sense since English Language Learners know more about the English language than native speakers. And they know what works best because of their own experience. However, I think some of the students in my class will distract me and cause me to shut up most of time. Okay, enough about me. Go out and live. Do a favor for a friend. K

Letters

Some time ago I sent some letters to my friends, five friends and I just got one reply today. I don't know if it's just me but if someone takes the time to pick out stationary and hand writes me a letter I am definitely going to give them a reply and not acknowledge their hard work and love. I personally love writing letters to people. If you ever need a love letter just let me know. The one reply that I did get was really awesome because I was telling her some things about my life that I'm not too excited about and wanted some advice but I found what I wanted without her letter but it's nice that she thought enough of me to reply and try to help me. She's one of very few people who I believe know me and love me. Sometimes I find that people who really get to know me choose to not love me or stick around, so it's really special when I have some who know and love me and even greater if I'm super mean to them and they know it's just a facade and they just smile and laugh and hug me. Those are the best people a girl could have. That's just something I wanted to say today. Oh and besides doing laundry yesterday I finished a scarf. And now I should probably get ready for school which doesn't start until 5:30. Wish I had some idea of what to until then. Anywho, enjoy your Tuesday, make a stranger smile. I'm bringing cookies to class to make someone smile. Much love, K

Laundry

I don't think I've ever told you how much I dislike doing laundry. It is like my least favorite things to do. I don't know why but it took me all day to just get the motivation to go shower and then sort out the clothes and then taking them downstairs. Once I do that it's pretty much smooth sailing unless I find something really interesting to do that distracts me which happened while my clothes were drying. I started watching Bones online. It was very interesting. Luckily, no one decided to do laundry on a Monday night besides me, so I had the whole place to myself. So after I finally get my dry clothes upstairs I leave them in the hallway. I don't even think about those clothes until hours later. It's really sad. Sometimes I would wash clothes and just leave them in the laundry bag until I absolutely needed them. But I made an effort tonight and unpacked 2 out of three bags of laundry I had. I just need to find somewhere to put all of these clothes. When I get older and have my own place and a job I'm going to just buy new clothes or just wear clothes more than once and try to wear the clothes as much as I can before they have to be washed because this whole laundry thing is not floating my boat. Anyway, I did do some cleaning and showering which isn't too bad. I actually love to clean. Hope you had a very fabulous Monday. Happy eleven months to my boyfriend. K

First Day of School

Today is the first day of school. Yay! No, no yay. I'm a little tired and having a hard time getting out of bed. I  must do my laundry but don't want to take the time to sort it out or put on shoes or walk to the elevator and take it to the lower level to swipe my card that opens the door and enter the laundry room where there is so much light and cold air and big tv and cameras. I just want someone to come and do it for me. Laundry is probably my least favorite thing to do. I wonder how much it would be to have those people at the laundry mat to wash them for me. Anyway, I'm not that rich so I have to get this over with. After that, I want to go to Queens to visit an old lady I know of. And I guess later tonight I should clean this mess of a room as well as pack my book bag for class tomorrow but class is like at 6 pm so I have all day Tuesday. TTFN

NVM, I'm staying home and do laundry right after this Snickers bar...

In A Slump

For the last two days I have been in some kinda of slump/funk. I didn't have anything to do so I just sat in front of the television and watched more shows than I can count. Yesterday I even watched that Kourtney and Kim take Maimi thing as well as the Real Housewives of Hollywood. I think that might have been my lowest point. Anyway, this usually happens after I read a book, a good book where the characters are exciting and I just can't put the book down. And I'm left wondering, well, what happens now? Well what actually happens now is that I go back to my life of updating my blog, going to school which starts in two days, going back to work, in a couple of weeks, and doing the other million jobs that I have. I don't think anyone would want to read a book about my life but it's mine so I should make the most of it. I also want to thank my very best friend Johnny for always making me smile no matter what. He always brings me back to Earth when I'm in a funk. He's definitely one of the many good things I have in my life. Also want to thank my boyfriend for putting up with me the whole day, know I wasn't the most lovely person to talk to but he called me anyway. And for now that's it. Going to try and live this life the best way I can, hope you do too. Much love, K

Coming Soon

So my birthday is in 31 days and I'm already thinking about all the things I want to do. I guess I should say what I want for my birthday which is just more books. Actually just one book. It's Hans Christian Anderson's Fairy Tales. I had a copy but seem to have misplaced it. And if not that then I want The Girl Who Chased the Moon or Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen or The Other Woman, Babyville, or Promises to Keep by Jane Green. Also I think I need the last three books of the Artemis Fowl Series. Okay now back to business. So I think next month, I'll knit or crochet four scarves and raffle off one each week of the month. Sounds like a marvelous plan to me. As well as I shall write a friend a letter each day and send some love to my very dear and close friends. Any other suggestions, let me know. Much love, K

Oh and I think I want to have a birthday party but who's going to plan that for me. Hmmm.
Update: I have the first three books that I mentioned earlier. Sorry if anyone planned on getting me those.

Mini-vacation

Since I've been on break from school I haven't really been on a vacation, so this weekend I decided I was going to have one. I did not get out of my pajamas unless I absolutely had to and I think we'd all consider running out of toilet tissue an absolutely have to go to the store situation. And this morning I had to teach sunday school so I had to do that for about an hour. And now I'm home. I've been reading three books at once, one more than the others and one less than the others. But I'm just loving it. If you're like me and love to read, you know you get stiff sitting or lying in one spot for too long so all afternoon I've been moving from my room to the living trying not to get stuck in one spot but now that my grandma is back from church, I'm forced to stay in my room where I have control over the noise volume. Now I'm just wishing I could go to a library or something. Anyway, another thing I want to do on my vacation is bake. I want to bake some chocolate chip cookies and maybe a cake but with layers. Man do I need to get paid. School starts in about a week and work soon after that. Hope you all are enjoying yourselves. Much love, K

Bloody Pain

I hope you all are enjoying yourselves and are having a fabulous winter break, if you are in school and if not, well I hope you are still enjoying your break. So far I have read two books and have been keeping up with the walking and drinking water except for yesterday. It's that time of the month and I was in too much pain to walk yesterday but maybe today I'll make my way down to the gym and get on the treadmill to walk a couple of minutes or miles. We'll see how that goes. Anyway, boyfriend is here spending some time with me after being a meanie. He brought me hot chocolate this morning which was very nice of him and helped in the process of forgiving him for ignoring his wonderful girlfriend last night. lol He says it's borderline narcissism. Oh well, maybe I am a little bit but he's stuck with me so he's just gonna have to suck it up. I'm just kidding, overall just him showing up was pretty awesome of him. Love this guy and hope you all are enjoying yourselves and spending time with someone who thinks the sun shines out of your butt cause I know I am. Much love, K

New Year

So it's a new year, yea who cares. Time is meaningless. All the matters is what you do with it. I want to make sure all the people I care about know that I care about them. And that the people I love know that they are loved. And I may want to try and show love to people I actually don't love but will do something kind for just because I can. I think I'll do monthly resolutions, maybe, we'll see if I can remember them. I would like to walk more for the month of January and maybe drink more water and try not to get sick. That's what January will be about. February is my birthday so maybe I shall make someone else feel special that month. Send letters to all my friends around the country and make someone smile. That's all I have to today. Hope all is well and God Bless. K