Charlotte Flows

It's my birthday tomorrow and I will no longer be a teenager. I miss my square, it's cold in Buffalo. I like yoga. I miss Mary Chelsea Allen, my cat, she's my best friend. I don't like having to change myself for people. I just want to be me and not have to worry about if they like me or not. So I think I will stop trying and say whatever the want to say and how I want to say it no matter who I piss off. I miss the people I use to see everyday in high school. I love sunsets. I want to ice skate. talking is overrated. crocheting is fun when ppl don't guilt you into giving them a freaking blanket. I want to live on the moon if I could. I want to travel if planes were safer. I'm the funny lookin spot on my square. I have 32 ties now and want more so gimme gimme. Stop reading this its nonsense. I want to fly, like a butterfly. In my next life I'd like to be a butterfly or a bird that no one wants and I'd sing a song, a pretty song but no one would listen cuz no one wants me so I'll sing for me and enjoy it. I wish I could swim then I'd could be a fish and swim all day long and sleep on the ocean floor, hopefully I wont get killed by any lava pillows or earthquakes that'll cover me in sediments and freeze my body for marine biologist to find and say what an ugly fish. I miss my sister, my real sister, Jocelyn Sue Allen. I love her and jealous, she gets to be free, and have friends who like her for who she is. We all know who she is and don't expect anything else, she's the lucky one. I just get to go to college and do the things I'm suppose to. I don't want to turn twenty.

Charlotte's Valentine

I woke up to a knock on the door. Who could it be? I looked at the clock. It read 5:14. Who could be at my door at 5:14? I look through the peep hole and it's him. The guy I watched from my window and watch for when he takes out his trash. I open the door as my heart is beating faster and faster. I smile ans say hi. He smiles back and says hi. I'm wondering why he's standing at my door when he gives me a daisy and says Happy Valentine's Day. I could have died but instead I said that you as he leaned in to give me a hug. I could have stayed there for days but it only lasted a few seconds. I could smell his cologne and feel that he's just saved. I wonder what it would be like to smell that smell everyday and to feel his face everyday. As we break our embrace he gentle kisses me on my cheek and says he thinks I'm beautiful. I'm speechless. I can't form any words to say what I'm feeling right now. My heart is beating fast, pumping blood as fast as it can. My hands are shaking, I don't know what to do. My face begins to hurt from smiling so much. All I can manage to say is a soft and quiet thank you. I feel the moment slipping away like I should say more but I'm lost for words. If I don't say something quick he'll leave and walk out of my life forever. I need something to say. I'm so busy thinking and arguing with my head that I don't hear his question. I ask him to repeat it. He asks if I want to be him Valentine and I say sure and he says great and that he'll pick me up at 8 to take me out, and I say cool. At this point, I'm not even thinking just saying whatever will make him happy. Whatever it takes to keep him standing there, at my door. Whatever it takes so that I can smell him again, to feel him again. He stands there for a while smiling at me, I'm smiling at him. I ask him what he's looking at and he says nothing, just something amazing beautiful. And I just can't control myself, I could burst happiness all over my doorway. He finally decides he'll leave and bids me farewell, I'm hesitant to close my door, to end the moment to stop this never ending bliss but he's already turned away and is walking back across the street. I slowly walk back to my bed wondering if I'm only dreaming, but then I look at the daisy in my hand and realize that was real, it was so real. I can barely fall asleep, but when I do, it's with a smile on my face. I can't wait for tonight.