Found

So yesterday my "missing" necklace magically appeared back inside the box that it came it. I don't know how and I don't know why but I'm glad to have my necklace back. It's weird because I moved the box from it's original place to this place in the corner and yesterday I just had this idea that I'd check it out and wam bam it was there. It kinda was cool but also surprising. I kinda wish I knew what happened but I guess I don't need to know. However, three things are still missing. I hate when things go missing. There is a spot for everything in my room so it's easy to spot when something is missing. The list of things missing as of now are my laptop, my piggy bank which I've had since middle school and my pink sun glasses. All of which I'm sure was taken by my not so nice sister. I can't wait until I can move out and get my own place. Maybe with someone else. I don't mind having a roommate. Just as long as they don't mind me cleaning all the time and having things placed in a certain way and me getting random inspirations to rearrange furniture. That's what I want.

Tuesday's in the CDS

Today I woke up with my eye feeling like it's going to burst out of it's socket but I got up anyway. I took a shower even though the pipes kept making this weird grinding noise like it was being pushed and pulled in all the wrong directions. I fed the cats, replaced their litter and ate breakfast. I walked the twelve blocks to my other home where I washed dishes, cleaned the living room, polished furniture, cleaned bathrooms, cleaned the other litter box, fed the other cat, organized my room and took out all the trash. All of this done from 7:38 to 10:37. I can say I had a pretty productive morning. I then went to work, where I sat and did things now and then but mostly answered calls and talked to people. It's getting slow, well kinda. Don't know why they want to keep me here too long. Glad there will be a manger soon. Oh and I gots a test/quiz tonight. Wish me luck. Parents will return in less than a week. Thank goodness.

Panic

Just went through two panic attacks in the last ten minutes. First was seeing my sister walk down the street with the computer and cat in a shopping cart. I had to think about what she was doing: probably giving away that cat and maybe selling the computer which isn't hers which brought on the first panic attack. Second was seeing my house in shambles. All the living room furniture upturned and all over the place, the bathroom a mess, and the computer missing ( I knew it was missing but she didn't have to turn the place upside down in the process- If you know me, you know I have a set place for everything and like coming home to things the way I left them) which brought on the second panic attack. This is just the second wave of crappy that has happened to me since my parents left me with my sister while they enjoy themselves in Australia. Yesterday I woke up to my wonderful necklace that my boyfriend gave me, being missing. Totally brought me back to the days when I was younger and my sister stole everything from me, anything having any significance in my life, gone. And it just made me want to cry. She's the worst possible person the Lord could have ever brought into my life and I still survived somehow. I guess I will always survive. I really do not know what I am suppose to learn in this experience but maybe I'm not suppose to know. However, in the mist of all my panic attacks I found peace. I heard a still small voice say I'm in control. So now, I'm chill because I serve a God much bigger than these somewhat serious problems. Still don't know what to do about this. Feel like I should call an adult. Totally don't think I'm equipped for all this. But I'm just going to worry about today and let God handle the rest. Amen.

Good in People

One thing I feel brings out the good in people is natural disasters. That's when people get together and decide to give some money or actually go there to help out. There's not much else that brings out the good in people. Today people are super lazy. They'd dedicate a facebook status or post a video about something but that's about it. They still live the same lives nothing special, just anther cause to remember. But there are some people who do dedicate their lives to doing good. Missionaries and the like. People going outside their backyards and giving to those less fortunate and some of them don't even have to leave their own backyards. Sadly I wish I could do more, but I do what I can with the time I am given. Maybe when I'm older I can do more.

Greatest Fear

I don't think I have a greatest fear but several small ones. Like, I have a fear of falling and smashing into the never ending streets of concrete in NYC. I also have a fear of rodents and rodent like animals as well as reptiles and huge animals like horses. I don't really fear looking at them from a distance but always watchful when I get real close, don't want any of them stepping on me or kicking me from behind. I also have a fear of heights, or rather when at great heights I think about falling and yea not a good place to me for me. Lastly, it's not a fear but more of a concern. I wonder what my friends will say about me when I die. I use to collect obituaries and still find them fascinating and wonder what will be said in mine.

Something I Know

Something that I now know that I wish I knew earlier in life would be that I would forget all my hard work in Japanese. Well it wasn't really all the much hard work but I did do pretty much all of my homework, studied my butt off for all those quizzes and presentations. I if I knew that all that work was easily to forget I would have tried a little harder to speak in class and not just get all the paper work stuff correct. I would probably tried to find something about Japanese culture that I actually like besides the language. Oh well, guess I'll just have to wait until I go to Japan.