Falling Behind

It's been almost two weeks since my last post. Sorry for the delay. My cousin came the last week my grandma was away. And it's been crazy ever since. She decided to take a bag that was intended for me and continues to lie about. I don't care if she has it, just own up to it. This is why I don't want to reproduce. My genes are just bad. Filled with liars, thieves and addicts. I'm good with adoption and students. Other than that, school had been eh. I'm ready to be done with this semester and into the next one. My very last semester of grad school. It does not feel the same as undergraduate. I felt like I actually did something, this time, I feel like I got a course and some textbooks and told to go do it. I'm not sure I'm 100% ready, but who ever is. I'm two days behind on the Ab Challenge. I blame it on the yoga. I did yoga on Monday and haven't been the same ever since. I bought ten lessons and have to use them before the 14th of December. I hope to use another one on Saturday, and by then I hope to be finished with this Ab Challenge. It's been great, but I'm tired and stressed. I thought I'd have more free time now, but I don't. I'm just as busy as ever. And I hate the fact that I still have two more assignments from my reading and writing class. However, I did finish up with my internship and just hoping I'll be able to upload the video and get it to my teacher. Anyway, all is good because tonight I get to eat. I'm looking forward to BMCC's Thanksgiving dinner. Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

Estoy Cansada

Grandma is back. She bought me back a tie, which you can see in my other blog entitled Over 100 Days of Ties at ahundredties.blogspot.com. I have a significantly lower stress level since grandma came back. My cousin is leaving tomorrow morning and the world seems to be making sense again. I just need to keep up this energy or else I'll fall behind. I have to finish strong or else my grade will suffer, so I pray for some energy to endure these last several weeks of school. Next semester I plan to learn how to drive and continue my Spanish. I love how good I am at it right now, but I can always get better. I want to be able to not only speak but also read and write. Hopefully I'll be able to do those things. I'm almost done with the scarf I'm making. I'm sure I'll be done by the end of this month. I just hope everyone likes what they get. I guess I can post my creations here. So be on the look out. Happy Friday! So does not feel like Friday.

Hamburgers

I was suppose to get hamburgers with my co-worker today but she bailed on me. She had to go pick up her mom. Today was a half day at work, nothing too special there. I was able to come home and save some money by eating in. I also tried to clean up a little for when grandma comes tomorrow. I hope she comes early. I don't want to come home and this place is a mess. I have class in two and a half hours. I have no clue what to do until then. I could read, I could knit. So many things I could do, but what should I do? I can't wait for this semester to be over with. I'm trying to picture what that would look like, but i don't know. I keep thinking once the semester is over, I'll be able to rest. And then I'll probably be bored. Oh well, I guess I'll just hope for the best.

He answered

I've always been told that God answers prayer, but never have I experienced it this quickly. I came home, thinking my cousin wanted to go out to eat but she was making bacon and french fries when I came home. I also saw that she had a new hair tie. It was mine. One of my pet peeves is people going into my room without my permission. It bugs the heck out of me because my sister likes to steal things. I grew up in an environment where every time I came home something was missing or broken. I still have scars from that and having her come in here and take things just bring me right back to that time. I feel small, smaller than an atom. However, instead of getting angry, I prayed. I prayed for strength to somehow get through this. Soon after I get a call from my cousin in Niagara Falls. He tells me that he just thought about me and so he called. Made me feel so special. I was able to share what I've been up to and all the worries I have with these two 22 year olds in my house. I'll be so glad when grandma comes back. I'll be able to rest at ease about the house and no longer be responsible for it's care or the cat. Anyway, I just wanted y'all to know that God does answer prayer. I had a sweat shirt with that on it. And one teacher asked, what if someone prayed for something bad to happen to someone else. I laughed, but what I really wanted to say is that God answers prayer by saying yes, no, or not yet. Sometimes the answer is no, and we just have to realize that there is a bigger picture and that not everything is about ourselves. So as I'm going through this tough time, I know that as each day pass and I able to get through and survive, I'll be a stronger person. Maybe, someone else will want to hear my story, maybe they won't. Maybe it'll just be my own little triumph. Who knows. All I know is that I serve a wonderful God, who loves and cares for his children. That's all I'm saying.

Burning Buildings

Last night a laundry mat caught on fire. I'm pretty sure someone didn't clean out the lint thing before or after they dried their clothes. There is clearly a warning on the machine. Anyway, my weekend was okay. I didn't feel like doing much. Saturday, got my hair done. Hung out with the cousin for a while, and finally was able to sit down for more than a minute. Ended up watching some shows and not doing any work. Sunday was official boards day, boring I know. Sunday school was entertaining, then I tried to get some work done, was so not feeling it. It's hard to work or do anything on the weekends, but I did manage to keep up with the ab challenge, completed day 11 this morning. I was talking with 305 last night and I was telling her if I complete this and the running for beginners thing, I'll be really proud of myself. If I complete these things, I'll know that there is nothing keeping me from doing more, from reaching an even higher goal. The only thing stopping me is myself. I also want to be a better teacher of the Word. I feel like I'm not doing enough. Maybe it'll come with more experience. I think I should get back to reading. I have my new glasses for a reason. I believe that is it for now, going to go buy 305 some apple pie and get to school and see if I can get some reading done. Have a warm Monday!

Unraveling

I'm so close to losing my mind. I was freaking out about my cousin coming over and having to watch two grown adults while grandma is away, but then I gave it to God. I was worried about not seeing my student today, but she showed up and it went well. I was worried about my observation today, but it also went well. I love my students and they all love me. They are the only good thing I have going for me. If all else fails, I know that I am a good teacher and ultimately put my students' needs before my own. While I wanted to cry and leave this house, I was calm, cool and collective. My students even commented on the fact that I'm always smiling and always happy. I think it's nice for them to think that. I also want them to know they can always talk to me. No matter what is going on in my life, I will always try to do my best to help them out. I just hope I remember to bring the brownies next week.

After teaching this after, I came home to a bunch of people in my house. When grandma is away there is no company. I did not know what I was going to do. I prayed and asked for help. I told them they would have to leave. I heard my sister say something, so I repeated myself and said they had five minutes or I'd be calling the police. They all left and I praise God that they did. I don't want to clean up their mess, but I"m afraid I may have to. It's just one of the many responsibilities I have as the oldest and most dependable grandchild. I'm just so blessed to have survived this long. Please remember me in your prayers. One week down, but one still left to go.

Que Bueno

Today was okay. Last day of work, which is really good. Also, I completed day seven, so I have a break now. Also, when I went into the gym this morning I saw the guy I have been obsessed with. I'm determined to make him my new best friend. Well slightly determined. We're on a hi/good morning basis now. Anyway, I was surprised to see him there since he usually goes to the gym at night. That was one surprise for today. There were no more. Work was okay, we got to hide out for a bit during the last class. They're a rambunctious group. After that, I got my check. Later, I went to my internship. It was good as usual. I'm procrastinating now. I need to do a lesson plan for tomorrow. I so don't want to do it, but I have to. Lastly, I dislike siblings. That is all.

They're GRRRRRREAT!

I have completed the sixth day of the Ab Challenge. These sit ups are killing me, but not as much as these leg raises. I'm thinking I should probably do it before I run at the gym, but probably not. I'm slowly but surely learning how to run. It's getting better with each day. I may have to run just about everyday or just try not to eat so much on the weekends when I'm not working out. For some reason when I begin to workout seriously, it's the same time that I want to begin to eat everything in site.

Nothing too special happened last night. Lab guy was cool, nothing weird, didn't avoid him. ESL student was cool, literally walked away from him. Got to talk to my bestie in PA, she always makes me laugh. And my Buffalo mom is back on facebook. She always makes me feel good about myself. I also talked to an old friend, actually several. It's nice to to know some people are thinking of me, and still think I'm cool enough to talk to.

I seriously need a vacation.

Oh and I ran out of Frosted Flakes.

Someone's always watching

Yesterday afternoon, I get a call from my friend/co-worker. I'm thinking it's important because he doesn't usually call me unless he needs me to work. However, when I call him back, he's telling me about a guy I use to work with. And he's convinced that there is something going on between us, when there clearly isn't. Anyway, I tell him we'll talk about when I get to school. Basically, he wanted to tell me that "guy" was with a "hottie" at the vending machine. And I know said "hottie". Anyway, I tell him they're friends, not like I care, but yea. And he's like "what am I going to do with you?". Some people are convinced that I need someone and I do not. I'm doing pretty darn well all by myself. Unfortunately the men of NYC do not agree. I was coming home from school last night, minding my own business and knitting. And a man comes up to me and says: I'm tall and from where I'm standing you're the perfect height and beautiful. I reply: Thank you and I keep on knitting. He goes on to ask if I have a boyfriend, I say no, he asks for my number I say I'm not interested. And he says something which I can't remember but ends up leaving me alone. I don't know what's in the water but these men need to back off unless they can show me a tithe envelop and their bible. Just last week, or rather the week before, one guy walked me home, another wanted to buy me dinner. My doorman is like I should take advantage, I'm like I don't have time for this. I'm way too busy going to the gym, updating my blog, teaching classes and thinking about my future. I have way too many things going on right now and no time for distractions, especially from men who aren't going places or who aren't going to come to Japan, China, Korea, Argentina and Columbia with me. I guess that's all for now. Oh I completed day 5 of the Ab Challenge and need to remember to stretch before I run. Yesterday was not fun... cramping and pain. Remember to stretch beautiful people, remember to stretch.

Blast from the Past

I was sorting laundry, a very boring task, and I decided to boost myself up by playing some music that'll make me dance. I played some Bowling For Soup and then some Good Charlotte. While listening to the latter, I thought about the time when I use to listen to them. Back in high school, I use to love their music, I still do. They knew perfectly what I was going through and got me through it. I think of friends I use to be close with and now an estranged with. It's funny to see how far you have come from high school.

Today I also completed day 3 of the 30 day challenge. Tomorrow is a rest day, so I don't do anything. I guess it's to give my stomach some time to rest, well little does my stomach know, but I will beginning running again on Monday. It's so hard to work out on the weekends. I feel like not doing anything. I want to just sit and watch tv, maybe go out. Next weekend, I promise to leave the house and go to my favorite book store and maybe eat out. I wanted to go out this weekend, but had no one to go with me. That's one of the benefits of having a significant other, you have someone to go to things with you. Oh well, there is always family members. Happy Communion Sunday.

No Shave November

I wish I could not shave for November, but sadly I was not created as a man. Not like I want to be one, being a black male would be horrible. Anyway, so it's November and with it comes the birthdays of ex-boyfriends past, lol. Seriously though, all except two were born on November third, fourth, sixth and ninth. It's crazy. Well besides that nothing special happens this month. I'm going to continue with my "diet" which is more like a lifestyle change, as Jessica would say. And I'll do my best to continue to work out and complete this ab challenge. I haven't done my exercise for today, I should probably get on that right? Also, I still have Halloween candy left. I realized that there really isn't a such thing as Halloween candy, it's just regular candy in bulk, lol. I still have some left but possible hording all the snickers for some later date when I need some chocolate. I hope this plan works. Other than that, some random person commented on a video that I have on youtube. I don't know what's the problem of showing girls playing with dolls but this person had a problem with it. I asked them why, so we'll see if they reply. Happy Saturday!

Winter Fever

I have no clue what is in the air right now but I think people who aren't with someone are beginning to look for someone to keep warm with when it starts to really get cold. For example, one ESL student tried to buy me dinner on Tuesday. Lab assistant also wanted to walk me home. As I was walking to my internship, minding my own business and crocheting, several men asked me to either teach them how or make them something. One girl commented on my UB hoodie, but that's a different story. So I'm thinking that there is something in the air that is making these people say things in hopes of getting a companion. I actually don't want to be anyone's companion. I just want to survive this semester. Do well at work, at my internship and finish my class at Hunter. I want to hurry up and graduate so that I may leave this city and go somewhere far far away. I really want to go to Japan. I don't really have anyone here who I consistently talk to, so it's like I'll be missing anything. I just want to go and make a difference. I want to see people from other countries, teach them English without imposing on their culture and have fun. That's it. Happy November 1rst!

OH today I start the 30 Day Ab Challenge. Wish me luck!