Panic

Just went through two panic attacks in the last ten minutes. First was seeing my sister walk down the street with the computer and cat in a shopping cart. I had to think about what she was doing: probably giving away that cat and maybe selling the computer which isn't hers which brought on the first panic attack. Second was seeing my house in shambles. All the living room furniture upturned and all over the place, the bathroom a mess, and the computer missing ( I knew it was missing but she didn't have to turn the place upside down in the process- If you know me, you know I have a set place for everything and like coming home to things the way I left them) which brought on the second panic attack. This is just the second wave of crappy that has happened to me since my parents left me with my sister while they enjoy themselves in Australia. Yesterday I woke up to my wonderful necklace that my boyfriend gave me, being missing. Totally brought me back to the days when I was younger and my sister stole everything from me, anything having any significance in my life, gone. And it just made me want to cry. She's the worst possible person the Lord could have ever brought into my life and I still survived somehow. I guess I will always survive. I really do not know what I am suppose to learn in this experience but maybe I'm not suppose to know. However, in the mist of all my panic attacks I found peace. I heard a still small voice say I'm in control. So now, I'm chill because I serve a God much bigger than these somewhat serious problems. Still don't know what to do about this. Feel like I should call an adult. Totally don't think I'm equipped for all this. But I'm just going to worry about today and let God handle the rest. Amen.