It Gets Better

As I'm thinking about the title to this post I can't help but wonder what I want to say. So many things have happened in the last twenty four hours. I had my first drink, on purpose and had the absolute worst experience. I never ever want to take another drink again. I was so right in not drinking for the first 24 years of my life. I don't even know why I felt that I had to. I'm not the kind of person who needs to drink and I like being that way. I don't think I want to hang out with people who do. People who think drinking goes hand in hand with everything, solves everything, or needed in every situation. I only had one drink but I did not like how that made me feel. I also did not like others trying to get me to drink more. They are lucky I even did that. I never going to another bar again. I am never taking another sip of anything alcoholic. I'm sticking to what I believe in. After last night I was so disappointed in myself. I felt that I let myself down. Since talking with one of my very good friends I have decided that I can't blame myself. We all mess up once or twice and many times over. However, I serve a God who loves me in spite of all that.  And I've decided to get back to the heart of worship and to go back to doing the things that really matter and really make me happy and not change to make someone else happy or to make something think a certain way about me because at the end of the day they have no say in whether I live or die or if I go to heaven or not. I thank God I have friends who pray for me and look out for me because without them I would be completely lost. I still have some things to think about and change/ get rid of some habits that I have adopted. I think it may be tough but if it's important I'll find the time and effort for it. I hope you all had a wonderful fourth of July because I know I sure didn't but it will get better, it will get better. Much love, K