This is Me

I don't smile as much anymore, I've been hurt too much to fake it anymore. I don't really like pink but any color would really do, but pink seemed like the best color to go with my new attitude or the person I wanted to personify. I love being in love but always find myself left out, nothing I can do about it so eh. I do unto others as I would have them do unto me. I try to make people feel special, I try to let them know how much I care for them and how much they mean to be but I get nothing in return and that can wear a girl down. I can't fake the funk for long. Soon the real me will come out. I think I've been hiding for so long that I do not know what it is. I can no longer be afraid to make enemies, every great leader had enemies so bring on the hate. I fear pretty much every and anything. I fear being the same as everyone as well as being too different. I like to fit right into things or at least the status quo. I would love to fit in but still be me which I think is an oxymoron. You can't flow in the same different as the current and expect to be different. Sadly, I try to hard and I really don't even like people that much. They don't follow rules, walk in straight lines and are so complex and never seem to be what you expect them to do. But there are a few exceptions but what's the fun in that. Exactly. I don't get me either, I'm absolutely lost as to how things are suppose to work, how they should be, feel, smell, taste like. I really do wish when we were born we had a manual then there would be less arguments about this and that and laws and religion and life in general. But I guess that wouldn't be a life at all. Well, I guess that's all I have for now, maybe one day I'll find the answers to all my questions.