Charlotte's Rage

I don't know how much longer I can last. This torture must end. I don't know how but I must. I'm not getting anything out of being here. I feel so enraged right now, like I want to break something but I know I can't. I just want to get out of here, away from the fighting, the constant arguing, the stress. I don't want to have to trust her to make sure everything is going to be alright, I don't want to be nice to her anymore. I tried being nice today and it just don't work with her. I give her a glimpse into my life and tries to control it, making me mad at the people I love the most. But I wont let that happen again, I wont make the mistake of trusting her with anything, sharing anything. Today there were dears walking outside and I was actually happy, prolly the only happiness I will ever know being here in this place. Maybe I'm jealous or maybe I just want something bad to happen to her but either way, things are not working out. Don't know why or even care, it's just not and I think once I do leave this place it will be the last time I ever do this again. I don't know about the friendship but it's over and I hope I am not severely affected by this later on. Well the parental units are awake an arguing so that's my cue to go. Pray for a better tomorrow.